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The Do’s and Don’ts of Caring for Gnomes

This week’s Into the Paranormal is a fun post. It’s tied in with my Hacked Investigations cyberpunk romance series, so then why is this about gnomes you ask? Meet Bernard, a fantastically funny and obnoxious sidekick to my technomage hero, Ian Bradley. He can be helpful or he can be a pain in the butt.

Here are a few tips Ian’s learned.

DO keep the house full of good fruits and vegetables since gnomes tend to be herbivores. Side note: make sure you don’t forget to bring him his favorite sweets too. Yes, they can have a sweet tooth.

DON’T keep alcohol anywhere near the house. The gnome will drink himself silly and be grumpy from the nasty hangover that ensues.

DO treat him nicely. If you don’t, chances are he’ll pay you back in mischievous ways.

DON’T keep your eyes off him for a second when things start to go wrong. He might bring more trouble on your head.

DO encourage him to plant his own garden, if you like to keep a roof over your head. He eats a lot.

• And finally, DON’T bring home a girl you’re interested in romantically, he’ll probably make lots of lewd innuendos that you wouldn’t want her to hear.

If you’d like to know more about the Hacked Investigations series, click here.