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Writing Sex Scenes

Hey everyone, if you’re interested in reading the first chapter of Techno Crazed, you can find it here.

With any romance novel (or novella), there’s got to be romance! Some people who don’t read or write romance might think romance writers sit at our desks with candles aglow and massage oil on hand when writing sex scenes. Some might, and that’s cool if it works for them. Although, when it comes down to it, most writers I’ve heard talk (or seen write) about this say they tend to either skip over them leaving **insert sex scene here** or they muscle through them even if they’re not “in the mood.”

Then again, I think that goes back to the fact that writing, while fun, is work. If someone wants to get published, and stay published, they have to produce novels, and that means writing even when they’re not in the mood. There’s no waiting for the muse to strike before getting to the computer or notepad to write. And back to the topic of sex scenes!

I’ve been trying to muscle through a sex scene this week, and I have to admit, it’s been… kind of… blah. Yep, both the scene and the writing of it. I know I’m going to need to go back through it and revise it heavily. And no, I haven’t been “in the mood,” but then again, after writing a few sex scenes, it’s a little more go in, write it down, and get out.

I will concede that some sex scenes still are fun, especially when they’re in a new and crazy place. Or maybe the characters are totally out there. Or maybe I’m just really into the writing that day, but on average, they’re another scene that needs to get down on the page for revising for me. But! Sexual tension, that’s another beast altogether. I love that.

So what do you think? Do you enjoy writing sex scenes? Why or why not? What are your ways of dealing with them?


  1. Sex scenes come in all shapes and I just read some horrible ones, by a Finnish author, actually. The book was in Swedish and about trafficking in Eastern European women. So you can imagine how bad that was. I, for some reason or other, have never been able to get into a romance novel. I read all the time, but this is one genre I can't read. I'm trying to remember sex in other books, but I'm blanking out so I guess if they were there, they may not have made a huge impression on me. Nice to visit here again though. I'm trying to keep up with everyone.

  2. Thanks for stopping by, Inger! Yeah, I imagine the sex scenes would be pretty horrible in a book about trafficking. I have read some books apart from the romance genre that don't have sex scenes, but I think they're probably more rare.

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